Measuring my Lines of Code

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Shared by: Debarshi Chakraborty (Durban)

This is the extract of a short conversation between one of my team mates and HOD of our department. The discussion is very candid and I am a fan of our HOD with his ability to bring out strong points out of no where. 

Teammate: Quoting Bill gates, “Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.”  

HOD: Ouch!!! Agree totally, this is the same guy that said Windows XP was the future.  Perhaps he should stick to making money using non-competitive tactics. When you build an airplane weight is one of the most important factors that need to be measured.  Dont get all excited but its all about thrust to weight ratio.  LOL. It is not the only factor however. Soon we are going to need a terabyte of ram just to load your MS OS. Mac rulz.

Teammate: Touché But I can write pretty long and kak code and never achieve my functional goal, whereas, if one knows the underlying technology the same could be achieved in a few lines of code. Mac’s are just Intel’s in White!

HOD: It is assumed if you use any LOC measure that there are regular code reviews and senior team members are looking at the "thrust to weight ratio".  It's at these review meetings that people padding their code are informed that they are not pulling their weight. You then need to factor in number of features delivered, some way of calculating complexity, amount of time spent actually coding versus the very important support functions a developer has to perform for existing products.

You need multifaceted approach....BUT you do need to do something and it needs to graph effectively. 

Think about why we need to measure this.  People who are paying us (bosses!, owners! etc.) are not developers but we expect them to sign our pay checks every month trusting that everything is efficient.

They need something simple to do, easy to understand and believable that reassures them that you are working hard and delivering.  Teaching them the technicalities of development so they can understand the elegance of code is not practical....so we are left with some XL graphs. Not perfect but what else is there?

Teammate: 100% agree

5 Seconds Between Life & Death

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Shared by: Adarsh Vyas (Durban)




Like you, this man too, had a dream. Like you, he too pushed his way into the crowded train Like you, he too wanted to get going before he got delayed Unlike you, he slipped and fell in the gap between the train and the platform at s tation And eight bogies went over him .

Find out what happened to this man * * * * * *







The man obviously has a guardian angel and supportive bystanders who told him exactly what he shouldn't do - move. And so, the man lay absolutely still as eight bogies of the train passed over him - centimeters from his head. Within seconds the 12-coach train passed and the man clambered out, unaided, unhurt, but too shocked to speak to us after his near-death experience Untidy safety habits Can trip you up. This Guy was Lucky, Dont cross Railway Tracks ever & make a mess of ur Valuable Life

whatever happens it happens for good!
Don't use shortcuts in life, eliminate unsafe acts & unsafe conditions to avoid accidents.

DOCTOR Vs MECHANIC

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Shared by: Adarsh Vyas (Durban)

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.
The mechanic shouted across the garage,” Hello Doctor!! Please come over here for a minute."
 The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.

 The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? "

The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic.....
 
He said: "Try to do it when the engine is running". 

ACTION CRICKET: Bull8s (bullets) did it again!

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Action Cricket is an indoor version of field Cricket and very prevelant in South Africa. Being in Durban, happened to get a chance to register a corporate team consisting of all ZenSarians. the team was name Bull8s (read it as Bullets). We registered in 2007 Feb, and started playing leagues. Till date we have played 4 seasons leagues. Each league runs for 3 to 4 months and there are matches every week, in the evening.
This game is not about power. Its demands, strategy, coolness, stamina and reflexes. All said, I am enjoying the nature of the game.
Recently we finished our 4th season and we lost the final and therefore, have to be contented with SILVER medal. However, out of 4 leagues, we have been always among top 4 teams. Twice we won the Silver and a maiden Gold.
It gives us immense pride to come and play with teams who are habituated to this form of cricket from very early age.
With the growing size of ZenSarians in Durban, we have formed a second team now who are entering the Arena from next month. The team is very promising in talent and we extend all our wishes for their success.

EVE'S TERMINOLOGY

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Shared by: Adarsh Vyas (Durban)

Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they areright and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half anhour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been givenfive more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something,and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothingusually end in fine.

Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statementof ten misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are anidiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here andarguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning ofnothing.)

That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a womenca n make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hardbefore deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Justsay you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true,unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring ona 'whatever').

Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying Fxxx YOU!

Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement,meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do severaltimes, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

BIRTHDAY GIFT

Shared By: Ghanshyam Dayal (Durban)

I was walking around in a Big Bazar store making shopping, when I saw a Cashier talking to a boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.
Then the little boy turned to me and asked: ''Aunty, are you sure I don't have enough money?''I counted his cash and replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy the dolll, my dear.'' The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much . Iwanted to Gift her for her BIRTHDAY. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.' His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God.

Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister. '' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and aid: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so my sister won't forget me.' 'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.

' Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' 'OK' he said, I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!
' Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also wanted to have
enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose. My mommy loves white roses.'

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.. Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who
hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young
woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.
The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

INDIAN MOTHER

Shared By: Adarsh Vyas (Durban)

A Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner.....who lives with a girl roommate Sunita.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Kumar's, roommate was.
She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate than met the eye.
Reading his moms thoughts, Kumar volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but Iassure you, Sunita and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Sunita came to Kumar saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver chutney jar. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Kumar said ,"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote :
Dear Mother:
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the chutney jar from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the chutney jar. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, Kumar

Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read

Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sunita, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Sunita. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the chutney jar by now under the pillow... Love, Mom.

Moral : Don't Lie to Your Mother...... ......especially if she is Indian!